Fifty Shades of Shite

Is your lass into 50 Shades of Grey shite?
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But I couldn't have been more wrong. It was more 50 Shades Of Shite. Five minutes in to the film and I knew i'd spend the remaining 1 hour 27 minutes with my palm on my forehead, cringing for my life at it's stupidity. The film had potential to be very funny but the idea was crushed by the terrible acting, and pathetic excuse for dark humor.

I can account for the two times, throughout the whole movie, I let out a slight giggle- well it was more of a scoff but at least it triggered some kind of emotion eh. I think he should stick to his PG rating films. It's crude sexual content contained stereotypical 'humor' that could be considered racist towards African American's and many people could take offence.


MO Moar, MOAR!! First, the reason sex scenes are so difficult to write is the gear change, rather than the sex itself. In reality had Ms Eyre acted like a modern day gal she would have been ostracised by society and had a very different life than the one the author intended. Esther Moreira 27 August at It turns out that his brother Elliot, who he brought along on his creepy-ass quest is also on the dancefloor and with Kate, who is doing her sexy moves all up on him. It's happened

He quickly deduces that she's drunk, what with it being late and her slurring her words and all and demands to know where she is, like it's any of his damn business. She's trying to pull away and he won't let her go, and now he's another character that I hate and want to throw hammers at.

A parody for readers who thought Fifty Shades of Grey was excrement

Enter Christian Grey, rescuing her just in time and giving her the opportunity to jump from the frying pan of potential rape into some controlling dickhead stalker fire. Next thing Ana starts vomiting everywhere, due to the five margaritas and champagne she'd been drinking. She wishes that the azaeleas in the flowerbed she's vomiting on would swallow her up and so do I, because then this book would be over and we could all get on with our lives.

It would have been so amazing if it was a flowerbed of these. After she's done, Christian tells her "this is beyond the pale" because people talk like that and berates her for having the nerve to get hammered the day she's finished college. It turns out that he found her by tracking her mobile phone.

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Instead of being alarmed by this frankly very worrying behaviour, she agrees to let him take her home. When she insists on telling Kate that she's leaving, he inexplicably drags her out onto the dancefloor for an impromptu bop, despite the fact that she's just gotten violently ill. It turns out that his brother Elliot, who he brought along on his creepy-ass quest is also on the dancefloor and with Kate, who is doing her sexy moves all up on him. Ana is normally a terrible dancer, what with the TOTALLY adorable clumsiness that has already been established and that makes me want to punch her in the face.

However, she suddenly CAN dance now that she's with Christian and he's made of sex magic and is part unicorn after all.

Fifty Shades Of Shite

When they're about to leave, Ana looks over at Kate who is now in Elliot's arms and thinks: "Even in my inebriated state, I am shocked. Fuck's sake Ana. She also says that she has to talk to Kate before they leave, because "I need to do the safe sex lecture". Which is hilarious, because Kate's a grown-ass woman who, unlike Ana, has actually gotten the ride before. And that concludes Volume 2. I'm tired now from being so mad at this book and everyone in it. I need a nap. Labels: Fifty Shades of Wank.

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Subscribe to: Post Comments Atom. Like me on Facebook. Have you seen the video where Gideon Gottfried narates some of the text? OH MY! Orla - Thanks missus! Laura - Err Sue - Ha! It does the job quite nicely alright.

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I don't think I'll be able to put myself through the other two books. I've heard about Gilbert Gottfried reading it but haven't watched the video yet. Must do that now! Did you ever consider branching into doing Clift's Notes? You totally should.

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Keep it coming, else we will all admonish you, as the cast of characters tend to do to eachother A LOT. The fact that you called him part unicorn has made me fall in love with you Love it. Ha ha that made me snort my English Breakfast Tea. Oh yes indeedy. And I don't like tea. Ha ha! Love it! You have completely reinforced my decision - hopefully waiting for vol 3! Ha, ha love your account of this. So glad to know Im not the only one thinking the same. Only part of book One I liked was when she finally stood up for herself and told him he was a f Way to go Ana!!

Took a whole book for you to realise this!! Love your blog. Keep on posting. Look forward to your next one. Kitty, you are hilarious! I read the book, totally agree with you, but still read the book--what is its power?

Like me on Facebook. It's what Jessica Wakefield would do. After stealing your boyfriend, obvs.

BACK in at the height of Fifty Shades of Grey mania - as the second and third installments of the books were released - I wrote a series of. 50 Shades Of Shite. likes. 50 Shades of fanpage has nothing to do with the 50 Shades of Grey Books + ONLY This fanpage is not.

I also think the author, EL James, would get a kick out of your posts! Almost nearing wee spillage, this is so, so funny! Can I send you every shite book I've ever read, please? I want to carry it round with me and quote from it. James does not know what it is telling and her imagination is dead.

Any person with a modicum of intelligence, can say that this fic is good. Glad I didn't bother reading it, just reading this seems to be much less painful and far more amusing. We can ALL dance in that state! Loving these posts, Missus! Maybe I'm somewhat retarded, but how can tea be both black and weak?

I think I'll go for a lie down. You earn my respect for that giff alone. Oh, and the hilarious book review. I'm addicted now- so true Hey hot stuff! If you leave a comment I'll give you a present. Right then. It turns out that Fifty Shades is certified blog catnip.